With this latest micro-crash, I’m here to tell you that Bitcoin is officially dead. RIP for the 254th and final time.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is with a heavy heart that I must inform you of the impending collapse of the entire cryptocurrency market. After many long, yet fleeting years of hype, speculation, and memes, it seems that the bubble has finally burst, and the end is nigh.

It all started with a tweet from Elon Musk. The eccentric billionaire, who had previously been a vocal proponent of Bitcoin (but mostly doge), announced that he had sold all of his crypto holdings and invested in a new venture: a farm for raising unicorns. The market responded with panic, and the value of every single crypto began to plummet.

The final nail in the coffin came when China announced that they had developed a new “cryptocurrency”, the Yuan-coin, that would be backed by the full faith and credit of the Chinese government. The rest of the world quickly followed suit, and soon every nation had their own tool of oppression, I mean CBDC. With no need for decentralized currencies, the value of all other coins hit zero (who really cared about decentralization anyways?).

As the dust settles, we are left to reflect on the lessons learned. We realize that we should have listened to our grandparents when they told us to stick with traditional investments like stocks, bonds, and Beanie babies. We also realize that unicorns are not real, and that investing in them is a terrible idea.

But most importantly, we realize that we should have never taken financial advice from a man who changes his Twitter bio on a whim.

​

Rest in peace, dear crypto. You will be missed.

#latest #microcrash #Bitcoin #officially #dead #RIP #254th #final #time

guest
35 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Intelligent_Page2732

Looks like you are living in the past, according to this [source](https://99bitcoins.com/bitcoin-obituaries/) Bitcoin died 469 times.

meteor-vs-lizardking

Well boys, you’ve done your duty and done it well. I ask no more of you. I release you.
You know the rule of the sea. It’s every man for himself now, and God bless you

Ill-Addition2024

Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy….

KnackeredParrot

Press R to Revive

Baecchus

After this brutal -1.24% day I finally crumbled under pressure and panic sold. I just can’t take this volatility anymore. Save yourselves while you still can.

Izzeheh

“See?! I told you all it was a scam!!” – Banker dudes probably

Beyonderr

The “BuT tHe MaCrO” spammers were right, $10K is back on the menu boys (and girls)

Ofulinac

Yep, its done. Pack your bags guys and move onto ElonJizzRocket vol. 2

ersleid

>We also realize that unicorns are not real, and that investing in them is a terrible idea.

Idk man, UNI still higher than its opening price this month 🤔

hoya_doing

Rest in peace. See you on the 255th time!

bojack-horsey

I feel like, on average, crypto people are pretty bad with a lot of things. But they are probably worst at comedy.

PoorCryptoInvestor

![gif](giphy|13PZ0dKw1J3LzO)

Primary_Technical

BTC will never recover from this . Sorry !

SuspiciousBarry

What’s Bitcoin?

EdgeLord19941

Quick someone apply the medi-gel

JERMYNC

So.. how much are the Unicorns 🦄?

I’ll take two!

Any-Assignment6022

RIP Bitcoin, you guys better sell it all to me before it goes to zero.

avenger2020

Damn it I just ordered a miner

samzi87

Volatility sends it’s condolences.

Getting_Big_Al

Oh noooo

The_Muntje

“I’m gonna roll myself up, in a big ball, aaaaaand dieeeeeee’”

– Frank Sinatra –

Deschain53

I can’t believe, after all these years, Jim Cramer was right

UJ_Reddit

Yawn – I don’t get out of bed for a 10% swing

Confident_Ad4479

So that means 100k eoy 2021 is off the table again?

raresanevoice

Zombie coin

Aromatic-Front-5919

The unofficial official time of death. Again.

Resident-Coyote9339

269th time

Vetidetdat

Possibly just a correction

Bl473r

![gif](giphy|WpaVhEcp3Qo2TjwyI1|downsized)

Relevant-Ad-8022

BTC needs a lil self revive.

Tanikushokutomu

254 is my rank in the predictions tournament. It must be a sign!

Tasigur1

Micro crash xD and yeah: buy signal!

Waiting-For-Godot-64

Dead.
I’ll pull out my funeral black.
Again.

Plastic-Club-5497

Relax Cramer

ETHmaxi2016

Lol no one gives a damn about Chinese Yuan Coin hahaha. OMG full faith and credit of the Chinese Government bahahaha

Recent Posts

Bitcoin Foundation?

I know I am out of touch. But What, wow, ah, holey poopoo!! I just found out the bitcoin foundation has been defunct in its

Read More »