Ladies and gentlemen, it is with a heavy heart that I must inform you of the impending collapse of the entire cryptocurrency market. After many long, yet fleeting years of hype, speculation, and memes, it seems that the bubble has finally burst, and the end is nigh.
It all started with a tweet from Elon Musk. The eccentric billionaire, who had previously been a vocal proponent of Bitcoin (but mostly doge), announced that he had sold all of his crypto holdings and invested in a new venture: a farm for raising unicorns. The market responded with panic, and the value of every single crypto began to plummet.
The final nail in the coffin came when China announced that they had developed a new “cryptocurrency”, the Yuan-coin, that would be backed by the full faith and credit of the Chinese government. The rest of the world quickly followed suit, and soon every nation had their own tool of oppression, I mean CBDC. With no need for decentralized currencies, the value of all other coins hit zero (who really cared about decentralization anyways?).
As the dust settles, we are left to reflect on the lessons learned. We realize that we should have listened to our grandparents when they told us to stick with traditional investments like stocks, bonds, and Beanie babies. We also realize that unicorns are not real, and that investing in them is a terrible idea.
But most importantly, we realize that we should have never taken financial advice from a man who changes his Twitter bio on a whim.
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Rest in peace, dear crypto. You will be missed.
#latest #microcrash #Bitcoin #officially #dead #RIP #254th #final #time
Looks like you are living in the past, according to this [source](https://99bitcoins.com/bitcoin-obituaries/) Bitcoin died 469 times.
Well boys, you’ve done your duty and done it well. I ask no more of you. I release you.
You know the rule of the sea. It’s every man for himself now, and God bless you
Buy, buy, buy, buy, buy….
Press R to Revive
After this brutal -1.24% day I finally crumbled under pressure and panic sold. I just can’t take this volatility anymore. Save yourselves while you still can.
“See?! I told you all it was a scam!!” – Banker dudes probably
The “BuT tHe MaCrO” spammers were right, $10K is back on the menu boys (and girls)
Yep, its done. Pack your bags guys and move onto ElonJizzRocket vol. 2
>We also realize that unicorns are not real, and that investing in them is a terrible idea.
Idk man, UNI still higher than its opening price this month 🤔
Rest in peace. See you on the 255th time!
I feel like, on average, crypto people are pretty bad with a lot of things. But they are probably worst at comedy.
BTC will never recover from this . Sorry !
What’s Bitcoin?
Quick someone apply the medi-gel
So.. how much are the Unicorns 🦄?
I’ll take two!
RIP Bitcoin, you guys better sell it all to me before it goes to zero.
Damn it I just ordered a miner
Volatility sends it’s condolences.
Oh noooo
“I’m gonna roll myself up, in a big ball, aaaaaand dieeeeeee’”
– Frank Sinatra –
I can’t believe, after all these years, Jim Cramer was right
Yawn – I don’t get out of bed for a 10% swing
So that means 100k eoy 2021 is off the table again?
Zombie coin
The unofficial official time of death. Again.
269th time
Possibly just a correction
BTC needs a lil self revive.
254 is my rank in the predictions tournament. It must be a sign!
Micro crash xD and yeah: buy signal!
Dead.
I’ll pull out my funeral black.
Again.
Relax Cramer
Lol no one gives a damn about Chinese Yuan Coin hahaha. OMG full faith and credit of the Chinese Government bahahaha